A muppet and a fat bloke.

Should Ricky be educating the young people?

Separated at birth?

I hate to do this, but…

We still love you, Ricky.

You’re a still a douche, Lindsey.

New movies: Do we need ‘em?

Alright. Karl here. Just returned from Boston, USA. Was there with me mate, Ricky. He’s shooting his new film, This Side of the Truth. Don’t really know what it’s about. Don’t really care. If you ask me there’s too many movies out there. When was the first movie made? I think it was like, in the 1800’s or summat. Dunno. Anyway, there’s probably hundreds out there. Maybe even thousands. I’m sayin’, what haven’t they covered yet? It’s all been done before. Forget it. If you ask me, you shouldn’t be able to make a new movie until you’ve seen all the old ones. When a director or a writer goes to a studio and says, “I wanna make a film,” the first thing they should ask him is, “Have you seen every other movie ever made? No? Then what are you doing here?”

I’m not sure people know what goes into a movie. It’s mental. Just tons of actors, extras, sets, costumes. And that’s just the stuff you see on the screen. Then there’s the crew, the caterers, the lawyers. Some people paid just to stand around for hours a day. Months at a time. Too much hassle. Why make a new one? Go to a Blockbuster and rent an old one. Save everyone the time and money. Let people get on with their lives. Especially me. I went out to America because I thought I was going to be giving Ricky some ideas for the plot. Maybe helping Clive Warren and Rebecca DeMornay with their characters. But they’re not even in the film. Turns out I wasn’t even there to help. I was just meant to play a bald caveman. I’ve said enough. Just watch these clips. You can see for yourself.

I got back to London to see an interesting bit of news on the internet. Well, actually it was a few days old. So it wasn’t actually news. It was olds. Anyway…finally, people are starting to agree with me that they’re too many words out there. I could go on. But…there’s too many words out there. Said before. So just read it for yourself.