Specifically, Tubbs.

“I think Sarah Palin is on the verge of becoming the Miami Vice of American politics: Something a lot of people once thought was cool and then 20 years later look back, shake their heads and just kind of laugh.” – Republican strategist Todd Harris

ANALogies.

And by anal, I mean Palin pulled this one from her butt. Here she is being defended by her spokeperson “Meg”, who also tries to tie Sarahcuda’s decision to walk out on all Alaskans to bocce ball or something.

What’s great is that Anderson Cooper doesn’t know fuck all about sports (or so he says) and is therefore allowed to say exactly what everyone else is thinking: “Lady, what the shit are you talking about?” Pay particular attention around the 4:40 mark.

Is anyone else reminded of the phone scene between Brian Fantana and Ron Burgandy in “Anchorman”?

[Wonkette]

Cognitive Dissonance Vol. 2 – Mizzou

Perhaps by now, some of you have heard of this insanely idiotic thing that Missouri State Representative Cynthia Davis (R) said in her weekly newsletter on June 4.

Obviously, everyone is responding to her statement that “…hunger can be a positive motivator.” But I found more humor in what she managed to say in the same breath, as she continued to comment on the Summer Food Service news release, to wit:

The problem of childhood obesity has been cited as one of the most rapidly growing health problems in America. People who are struggling with lack of food usually do not have an obesity problem.

Followed immediately by…

What is wrong with the idea of getting a job so you can get better meals? Tip: If you work for McDonald’s, they will feed you for free during your break.

Yeah, lemme tell you. Nothing kills obesity germs quite like a Double Quarter-Pounder w/ Cheese. Hey lady, you can’t really be so dumb as to think that there are no poor fat kids in this country, can you? Look around. They’re everywhere.

After you take note of the 10 or 12 that are probably within 100 yards of you at this very moment, stop and ask yourself this question:

“Is there some correlation between fast food value meals and underprivileged obese children? Hennnnggghhh???”

Fail.

We made it.

Folks,

I don’t know how, but we managed to survive these past eight years of utter hell. In just a few short days, we shall usher in a new administration. And with it, a new era of complete thoughts, technically correct sentence structure and better-than-average pronunciation of words that actually exist in the English dictionary.

In honor of this momentous occasion, please enjoy this visual retrospective, courtesy of Mr. David Letterman. And as these last waning hours of the Bush presidency unfold, I hope you join me in asking the question that may perhaps go unanswered until the end of time as we know it…

What the fuck is a recruitament?

[HuffPo]

Life imitating art.

So, you’d think that when a major US city agrees to give unprecedented access and cooperation to the producers of a tv series, which depicts that very city of being a honeypot of government corruption, it’d be to show to the world that it is committed to putting that reputation behind it.

Yeah not so much.

If you ask me, guys…

…I’d say that today was a fairly good day for your shitshow of a state. It was the previous 69,355 that were fucking sad.

Old habits.

As I sit here and watch our new president-elect in his first interview since November 4, I’m once again reminded of once of the reasons he’s a breath of fresh air. When Steve Croft asks him…

“Have you been reading [XYZ]?”

…it doesn’t really matter what the direct object of that question is. Whether it’s Lincoln’s writings on bringing together his cabinet or FDR’s musings on the Great Depression. Because Obama’s answer is simply:

“I have.”

Damn. Refreshing, ain’t it? Conversely, I am also reminded of one of my pet peeves about 44. While he sits there and so eloquently describes the viscous cycle of oil addiction, it’s apparent that he himself hasn’t kicked his own addiction…to a single word. His prefacing of answers to tough questions with “Look…” manages to suck almost all the air out of his arguments. Why? Because since the dawn of time, homo sapiens have regularly used that word to get their questioners ready for some grade-A bull.

When a politician begins an answer with, “Look…”, this is what I actually hear:

Okay. Check it. That question is dicey for me politically and/or I just don’t have a thoughtful answer. You should know better than to ask me such a thing. Frankly, you’re lucky that I’m even here right now. But since I can’t win anything pissing off the media, I’m going to come up with some horseshit to eat up the next 24 seconds. Don’t even think about asking me a follow-up…

I’m not saying that’s what he actually means…it’s just what I hear. He’s been using it since his campagin kicked off and it’s time to retire it from the lexicon.

Whine much?

"And I woulda won reelection, too..."

These damn meddling kids, with their “wanting to get involved” and their “knowledge of the internets”.

Face it lady, you got owned. Try to retain some small sense of dignity.

[23/6]

Plug the leaks, people.

Jesus. We’re not even two steps out of the gate and already we’ve seen the incoming COS mull over his offer a few seconds too long. And now this. An anonymous former high-ranking defense official (who is also advising Obama) was quoted as saying that keeping Sec. of Defense Robert Gates around is:

…the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Way to go, dipshit. How ’bout a little teamwork for a week or two? At least fake it for the cameras.

This person also says that he has made the transition team aware of his concerns.

First of all, how many former high-ranking DOD people could possibly be advising the transition team right now? It can’t be that difficult for them to deduct who it is. And the fact that s/he has voiced his concern to them further narrows it down.

But more importantly, why does this mystery person want to throw a wrench into the new administration’s efforts before it even gets going? I hope Rahmbo quickly zeros in on this jerk and cuts them out of the loop toot-sweet. He can’t allow “advisers” sending messages through the press like this, particularly on national security matters. Maybe Gates is the wrong guy looking forward, but this is not how effective administrations get things done.

Nip it in the bud.

Flashback: Chicken George

Seeing the recent reports of a near-mob attacking two Obama supporters in Florida reminded me of a similar time in my life.  Back during the 1992 Presidential Campaign, you may recall the infamous Chicken George, where folks would dress up in a chicken costume and go to George Bush rallies.   The point was to highlight President Bush’s refusal to debate Gov. Clinton despite previously having agreed to do so.  A brief overview of the Chicken George phenomena can be found here. 

Anyway, your blogger participated in such efforts by dressing up as a chicken, wearing sign reading “Chicken George Won’t Debate”, and attending a George Bush “Young Republican’s Rally” in Nashville, Tennessee during his freshman year in college.  Following the event, the sportcoat-clad hoodlums surrounded the Chicken and his bodyguards along with 20 or so other Clinton supporters.  What was initially a good-spirited exchange of “Clinton-Gore” and “4 More Years” quickly devolved into physical and verbal attacks by the larger Republican crowd.  Several individuals attempted to yank the Chicken head off (which is a bit disconcerting when you lack pretty much all peripherial vision inside the suit).  A grandmother was pushed down and stepped on in front of her nine-year-old daughter.  We were all getting pushed around a bit.  Finally, the police arrived, surrounded the democratic supporters with linked/locked billy clubs and ushered us to safety in the parking lot.  A photo of the event made Newsweek.  High point of my political career…

Chimpanzee that…

From Talkingpointsmemo.com:

And here’s another note from TPM Reader TB. I guess I’m really not sure quite how to characterize it …

I think people really are missing the point about McCain’s failure to look at Obama. McCain was afraid of Obama. It was really clear–look at how much McCain blinked in the first half hour. I study monkey behavior–low ranking monkeys don’t look at high ranking monkeys. In a physical, instinctive sense, Obama owned McCain tonight and I think the instant polling reflects that.

So McCain may have given away his status as a low-ranking monkey. I’d never even considered monkey rank.

Late Monkey Science Update: In case anyone’s wondering, I looked up TPM Reader TB’s page at the University he teaches at. And no doubt about it, he appears to be a genuine monkey scientist, or to be more specific a researcher on social cognition and behavior in primates. I’d link to his page. But readers remain anonymous, save for their initials, until they tell us otherwise.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/220226.php