Palin Space. (Updated)

Not to be confused with ‘airspace’.

I threw this together tonight. I think it accurately portrays what it must be like sitting in a room with the Governor.

NOW UPDATED!!! (per Elbows’ suggestion)

Hey dumbass…

Let me explain it to you one more time. I’ll speak slow and avoid big words.

If you are calling long distance from a landline in DC, you must dial a 1 before the area code. Otherwise, the phone (which, by the way, is not psychic) will think you are trying to call another DC number, and therefore, will register only the first seven digits you dial. If you happen to be calling a certain prefix (which I won’t mention) in the state of Delaware, then there’s a 1 in 10 chance you will ring my cell phone. And then I will be very pissed. Why? Because I get at least 10 of these calls a month.

To the lady who called me three times in a row this morning looking for “Melinda”: you are a mouth-breathing idiot. Learn how to use basic technology. I know that the advent of the cell phone has spoiled you and made you forget that long-distance still means long-distance on a regular phone. But your igornace is not an excuse. Get a clue. It’s not making any sense, is it? Okay…

Let’s say you’re trying to contact MENSA because you want to take their membership exam. After a few hours on Lycos, you finally find their US number. You try to dial it without putting a 1 in front. Uh-oh. Looks like you didn’t even make it out of the District, telephonically speaking, of course. The end result is a positive for everyone. Here…I’ll diagram it for you:

All clear now? Great.

photo courtesy of watchingkville.com

On the Road – Part One: If Nature Had Intended Us To Fly…

Well, folks…since Mylephnt didn’t put so much effort into reporting from the Golden State, I guess I’ve got to step up. Yes, I too am in California. I’m here to spread the word. The gospel. But before I can change young people’s lives…I have to, you know…get here. Oh what fun!

I can pretty much sum up my travels so far in three simple, but life-long lessons:

1. there’s other people out there with just as good taste in television as us Ramblers…you just have to be seated next to them on the plane;
2. if you don’t just flip though the SkyMall catalogue, but you look…and I mean really look, you will find some of the funniest shit you’ve ever seen; and
3. American Airlines operates like a well-oiled machine. That is, if you happen to be in the market for a machine that is built primarily for ass-fucking.