I had the time of my life…

Nobody puts Rebecca Willis in a corner.

The small mountain town of Marshall, N.C., has agreed to pay $275,000 for banning her from a community hangout after residents complained about her dirty dancing.  Willis, then 56, was told to stay away from the Marshall Depot community center eight years ago.

According to court documents, she was accused of gyrating and simulating sexual intercourse with her partner while wearing a skirt so short it exposed her underwear. Willis described her dance style as “exuberant and flamboyant” but not obscene.  She’s still not allowed to return to the refurbished train station where she once danced and socialized, but she said that’s OK with her. 

Her attorney, Jon Sasser, said the town strongly opposes lifting the ban.  “They said they’d burn the place down before they let her come back, so we decided to see if they’d put a monetary price on the right,” he said.  The American Civil Liberties Union of North Carolina Legal Foundation announced the settlement Thursday.

Larry Leake, an attorney for the town, said Marshall’s insurance company advocated the settlement. The town believes it did nothing wrong and would have prevailed in a trial, he said.

Willis said in a statement that the settlement sends a message that the town should allow for diversity and free expression.  “I am very happy with this settlement and relieved that the lawsuit is finally over,” she said.

From law.com

Your honor, if it please the court. Um…we suck.

Exhibit A

The defense rests.

I think the Court can absolutely positively take judicial notice that Duke is probably the worst football team in Division I football. Everybody knows that. That’s no secret. The longest losing streak, the inability to ever win games. . .We certainly don’t have to go out and take six months of discovery to establish that for you. . .So the bottom line is how much discovery, if any, should anyone have to take, want to take or need to take to make the simple analysis of whether or not that was a team of similar stature? It’s judicial notice that they got beat by Utah. Maybe that’s part of the dispute – that they wish they’d played somebody weaker, like Duke which would have been an automatic W.

And that’s a zealous advocate talkin’…

Yes, I know the above pic was taken at a basketball game. But it’s just too great not to post. Speaking of Duke basketball, let’s not forget this little gem…

Great legal minds.

They’re so rare these days.

Since Mylephnt has already blazed a trail for those postings spawned from geekdom intellectual curiosity, I submit to you this little nugget. Those of you who have used Apple products for more than a few years may remember a small moment in time, specifically 1995-1997, when the company actually allowed other computer-makers to manufacture and distribute systems that ran Mac software. This “Mac Clone” program was swiftly snuffed out by Steve Jobs upon his return to Apple…the first step in his pursuit of world domination.

Since then, Apple has kept a tight grip on all things Mac (especially pricing and distribution). With the success of the iPod and the reemergence of the Mac line, its revenue has grown exponentially. No doubt with all that cash lying around, they prrrrrrrrobably keep some pretty effective outside counsel on retainer. You know…just in case someone wants to start some shit.

Which makes it so difficult to understand why a po-dunk IT consulting company out of Miami would dare poke the sleeping giant in the eye with a pointy stick. Psystar claims to have manufactured a PC that runs Mac OS, either pre-installed or from an install disk bought in an Apple store. The price: $399. Seemingly, a windfall for every wannbe Mac owner who doesn’t want to shell out thousands for the real deal. Not so fast. There’s one problem. The Mac OS End User License Agreement clearly states you can’t install it on a non-Apple machine. Game-Set-Match, right? Not according to an employee of Psystar:

[Robert] also said Psystar believes Apple’s prohibition against third-party installations might not hold up in court: “What if Honda said that, after you buy their car, you could only drive it on the roads they said you could?”

Whoa. Easy there, Ben Matlock. You’re gonna have to slowly explain that reasoning to me with large print and visual aids.

Something tells me Steve is already reviewing the floorplans of the Psystar offices to choose the best location for his private shitter.

h/t to MacRumors for the scoop.

Yeah, they’re shitty lawyers…but at least they’re unethical.

Just got through watching “The Corporation“, a 2003 documentary that examines the birth of…well…the corporation. Sorry, that was unavoidable. There aren’t any good synonyms for ‘corporation’. Anyway, there’s not much presented, other than anecdotal pieces, that you didn’t already know. Corporations started out as groups of people with charters from local governments to carry out very specific tasks. Today, well…you know the rest.

Some of the stories are pretty disconcerting. Alot of them seem to revolve around Monsanto. Jesus, can these guys net $5 without fucking something up? I tell ya…there’s really nothing quite like a bloody, pus-covered, oversized utter being dragged through feces-laden mud, to get me thirsty for a big glass of milk. All the big players get mentioned: Enron, GE, Shell, IBM, Hannah Montana, et al. Queue a few minutes of Michael Moore, Howard Zinn, and Noam Chomsky and boom…you got yourself a film.

But what I’m betting you haven’t seen before is this wiggler. This was hands down, the most awkward scene in the movie. It’s a VP of Pfizer trying to convince the filmmakers that his company is actually doing some good in the community. All he really manages to do is show how out of touch he is with everyday life. But not only are the new-fangled devices he’s taking credit for neither ‘new’ nor ‘fangled’ but they’re clearly already being ignored. Watch as he tries to demonstrate the intercom system (which you just know is not going to work). “Ahhh…hello hello? Tom Kline speaking.” As if the rent-a-cop (who’s clearly not listening on the other end) gives baker’s fuck who it is. Silence.

Now I know where Christopher Guest gets the inspiration for his characters. More after the jump.