Maybe Leph can go in his stead?

John Culberson would like to ask Hillary Clinton for something.

Specifically, on behalf of Michael Savage and his sticky-icky. Yeah, you know…cuz if there’s anyone you want to do a solid for, it’s a belligerent radio wingnut who’s just to the right of Hitler’s crazy racist grandfather.

[Wonkette]

The only map you’ll ever need.

Click to enjoy.

 

[EatingTheRoad via Lifehacker]

He must break you.

A good stiff-arm to the forehead is still an effective defense, however.

RIP Ken Ober 1957-2009

The man who introduced us to the likes of Colin Quinn, Adam Sandler, Denis Leary and of course, Kari Wührer.

Did anyone else watch Remote Control as much as I did in junior high?

Cause of death still unknown.

[CNN]

Kids say the darndest things…

If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?

—

I love meat. I eat pork chops, thick bacon burgers, and the seared fatty edges of a medium-well-done steak. But I especially love moose and caribou. I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals — right next to the mashed potatoes.

Isn’t that just ADORABLE? Oh…and you wouldn’t believe what she said to me the other day. We’re in the living room. I’m on the couch just, you know, evolving. Sarah is looking out the window. She turns to me and she goes – with those pretty eyes – she goes she goes: “I can see Russia!”. I almost died.

Then the other day we’re in the kitchen and all of a sudden – completely apropos of nothing – she looks up and says, “I wanna be president.”

OMGZ SHE IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER. I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF THIS LITTLE GIRL.

That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids, I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house so Trig could nap while I made calls. Seeing Todd’s blue eyes smiling, I chuckled.
Dang, I thought. Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?

They grow up so fast!

[HuffPo | Palin/Carell comparison idea stolen from commenter josefsvejk]

Cum’on guys…she was just being nice and stuff.

McCain Adviser Denies Palin’s Claim She Granted Couric Interview Because She Pitied Couric’s Low Self Esteem

Rodent consuming foamed maize on a stringed chordophone.

[FunnyOrDie via HuffPo]

 

Do blow, hang with a ho…get your own show.

Marion Berry Filming a Reality TV Show Pilot

Brought to you by the makers of Smoke Crack, Get Your Job Back.

[DCist]

No offense…

…but if you’re one of the females in this picture, then you’ve got some serious self-esteem issues.

Just sayin’…

 

I think Dennis Miller said it best…

Orly Taitz's Facebook Feed

“If there is a man amongst you that does not see why these two should be joined together, speak now or forever hold your piece in the ready position with the safety off.”

Of course, Dennis himself probably jerks off to both these wingnuts on a nightly basis. Damn, I use to love that guy. But he has gone off the deep end. What the hell happened to him?

[Wonkette]

You know who’s doing voiceover work in commercials these days?

Every single girl I grew up with.

Jiggawatts.

Using his “originalist” philosophy, Scalia said he likely would have dissented from the historic 1954 Brown v. Board of Education decision that declared school segregation illegal and struck down the system of “separate but equal” public schools. He said that decision, which overturned earlier precedent, was designed to provide an approach the majority liked better.

“I will stipulate that it will,” Scalia said. But he said that doesn’t make it right. “Kings can do some stuff, some good stuff, that a democratic society could never do,” he continued.

“Hitler developed a wonderful automobile,” Scalia said. “What does that prove?”

Wait.  Hilter invented the Delorian?

Yo, Antonin. I know you’re like 50 times smarter than all us Ramblers combined (actually 100 times with Penny Lane’s cracked-up ass in the mix)…I even saw you speak at my law school and you mopped the floor with my liberal friends.

But really? I mean…really?

[HuffPo]

(917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

[TFLN]

First Twitter, now this.

Click to see the some of the whitest motherfuckers on earth.

“Qualifications?”
“Rape. Murder. Arson. And rape.”
“You said rape twice.”
“We like rape.”

Oh sure, NOW you jump on board. After sexual assault becomes like, the “next big thing”. Ugh…bandwagon much?

[RepublicansforRape.org]

No, it’s really a saying. We just said it.

“There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves [...] By not using earmarks to fund projects for South Carolina and instead using actual bills, [Sen. Jim] DeMint is watching our nation’s pennies and trying to preserve our country’s wealth and our economy’s viability to give all an opportunity to succeed.”

HABBA HABBA HABBA WHAAAA???

Click here to read more about the two peaceniks that penned that wonderful passage.