Ramble Classifieds

WANTED

Online story editor for 75-year old news magazine with circulation of over 3 million. Must be able to control dipshit “journalist” who can’t control his urge to insert 6th grade humor into his supposedly serious political blog.

Familiarity with Photoshop (mainly the ‘Undo’ button) and issuing “Time-Outs” is preferred.

Seriously. Call us. This Mark Halerpin guy is fucking wearing us down.

Gym patron does a couple of pull-ups.

WASHINGTON – In what some are characterizing as a brief and disappointing show of upper-body strength, a local Washington man did a couple of pull-ups today before tiring and moving on to another exercise.

Josh Breyer had just wrapped up his first trip to the water fountain and was walking towards the free-weights area when he came upon the dual-station cable machine. Witnesses say it was then that he abruptly stopped, dropped his towel and reached up to grab the pull-up bar mounted atop the multi-use apparatus.