Seriously, Cleveland, How Are You? 

via The Onion.

Hello again, Cleveland! It’s me, Bob Seger. You may recall me from the rock-and-roll concert last night. First off, let me say that it was such an amazing show—we played all the hits, blew the roof off the place, and you were a great crowd. But, honestly, I was a bit surprised when I inquired as to how you were doing, and you responded with a curt “Woo!” and just left it at that. You might have thought it was a mere pleasantry on my part, but I really meant it: How are you?

Just level with me, Cleveland: How are things actually going? I know it might feel weird opening up to a two-time Grammy Award–winning recording artist, but if you’ve got something you need to talk about, now is the time. Keeping it bottled up inside is just going to make things worse, believe me. Is anyone out there having trouble with their job or their relationship? Is it family? Family problems can be especially tough to open up about, but you can trust Bob Seger. (More …)